Did I just meet the God? [A Satirical Story]

I was walking along a long mud road with hedges on both sides of it. The landscape was beautiful, the moment was serene and I was feeling very great. 

From a long distance, I saw a man approaching me. I couldn't recognize it but it was a human figure. It was in a black coat, hat, and perhaps a stick. As he approached me his details started getting clear. He was quite tall and lean. He had a brown moustache, a black hat, black coat and carried a chocolate-coloured fancy stick. At a quick glance, he seemed quite wealthy.

He stood in front of me and smiled as if we were close acquaintances. I also felt I had seen him before but couldn't recall where.

"Who are you?", I asked.

He gave a graceful look and replied," I am the god; the creator of this universe. You already know me very well.``

With his words, I suddenly remembered him. "Yes, he is the god. How could I forget?", I said to myself. 

Then I pleaded," Lord almighty, I apologize that we humans are straying away from the path you set for us. Humanity, compassion, and love are like non-existent qualities. We all have become self-centred and selfish. Please forgive all of us." I was telling him these as if I was chosen as the representative of the whole human beings. And I felt huge pride in that.

But He gave me an indifferent look and said," Do I give a damn?"

I was hoping to get a blessing from him for apologizing on the behalf of all the humans. But Instead, he gave his unsympathetic words.

“Pardon me,” I looked at him in a perplexed way.

He gave a cold smirk at me and said,” You piece of shit. You, humans, think you are very special, don’t you? Feel as if you all were made by me for a special purpose. You try to place yourselves above other entities I made. You think I, the creator, care for you and love you. But let me burst your bubble, I don’t care about you at all. You all mean nothing to me. NOTHING!!!”

” Then why did you create us?”

“You want a reason for your creation? But shouldn’t you also ask the question like why did I create a stone or ants or water or anything else?”

This shocked me because I only asked about human’s purpose but never gave a thought about the purpose of other things and beings.

"Yes, tell me why did you make us all?”

He chuckled a little. 

"I did what you call it ‘Fart' and you were created. So in a sentence, the universe you all live in is my fart and nothing else. It didn’t come out with a purpose and it has no meaning. It is just a thing I threw up.”

This was the greatest disrespect I can face in my life. I didn’t want to hear such a disgusting answer. I felt he was trolling with me so I interrogated him further. 

“Then all those religions and beliefs, why did you create them? Also in all the books of religion, why do your priests preach your teachings? All those teachings of love and devotion, do they not mean anything?”

He again snickered and said,” When did I come to you and said I made your religion? When did I teach you guys anything? I have never met a single person physically, how can I make them write books about me?”

“But those churches, temples, mosques, priests, pastors, and gurus?.....” I said.

“Ohh, it’s called branding and publicity. In your so-called “Modern time” many celebrities do that. In the past, this was the only way of publicity.”

Now everything was getting clear to me. But I still couldn't accept my purposelessness. So I further asked,” Then why did you imbue humans with self-consciousness?"

This time he burst into laughter and said," Self-consciousness? What the heck is that? Ohh… let me tell you what that means in words you can understand.  A paper has qualities of a paper and rock has qualities of rock. Similarly, a human has the qualities of a human with all that self-awareness crap. Your so adored "self-consciousness" isn't special, because every single thing has its own "self-consciousness" and something like that which I don't even care about."

Now my insignificance was thrown at my face by that jerk. But I had one last card to feel my superiority. I asked," if you don't care about us or me, why did you come to visit me here?"

He, giving the same funny look, said," I came to visit you? How ridiculous. You are in a dream. This world is made in your mind and myself included. So nothing here is real. Anything I am saying is all made by your mind. This is just a dream. I never came to visit you."

Now I again remembered. He was right. I was in my dream. But I was talking to a so-called God, whom I barely know and who was telling me how insignificant the whole human existence is. Still, my mind made it all. So I couldn't make any decisions there about what to believe and what not to.

"Then, everything you told me so far, shall I believe it when I wake up in the morning?"

"Ohh I can give you the answer to that question". He then pulled up his fists in front of my face and showed me his middle fingers. He then said, "I don't care. Whether you die or live is none of my concern. Now stop wasting my time and get the hell outta my sight."

As soon as he said that I felt something pulling me away from him. He faded and everything with him collapsed. That world came to complete chaos.

I suddenly opened my eyes to see what's going on. But I just saw my mom pulling my blanket to wake me up. It was a dream after all.